


Salt and Pepper

by hypernomad



Series: Drabbles [9]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-24
Updated: 2014-07-24
Packaged: 2018-02-10 07:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2016462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hypernomad/pseuds/hypernomad
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m going to do it. I’m going to buy you a teapot with a cock-shaped spout as a token of my love."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Salt and Pepper

If there was one place Mickey didn’t imagine he’d ever step into, it was somewhere like this. Then again, the holidays were all about being nice to people you hate and buying shit for _them_ rather than yourself, so he guessed he had something of a free pass.

So there he was: Mickey Milkovich, in some stupid, quirky little homeware store, watching his idiot boyfriend poke around a shelf stacked with teapots, and trying to block out the sound of an irritating recorded choir singing Christmas hymns over the speakers.

“Look at this one.” Ian laughed quietly, pointing at a teapot shaped like a man in bondage gear with a dick-shaped spout strategically placed over his crotch.

As corny as it was, Mickey couldn’t suppress a smirk at it. “You tryin’ to suggest something?” He asked, eyeing the redhead playfully.

“Well, do you want it?” Ian laughed in response, raising his eyebrow at his boyfriend as he rubbed his index finger over the head of the little ceramic cock. Mickey smirked and adjusted the waistband of his pants.

“When the fuck do we ever drink tea? Unless you’re plannin’ on throwin’ a fuckin’ tea party, in which case you’d better cross me off the guest list.” Mickey grumbled, fiddling with a bobble on an absurdly over-decorated oven mitt.

Ian giggled quietly. “Even if there’s booze?” He asked. When he got no response, he sing-songed, “I’ll tell Debs to make some of those syrup cinnamon cookies she made last week?”

“I don’t think she’s forgiven me for eating half of them yet.” Mickey mumbled quietly.

Ian gave a snort and a nasal laugh. “I don’t care. I’m going to do it. I’m going to buy you a teapot with a cock-shaped spout as a token of my love.” He said airily, ignoring Mickey’s smirk and the roll of his eyes. Then, he wondered off to slightly further up the aisle while Mickey turned a red mug saying ‘ _On the rag, rub my feet or fuck the fuck off’_ over in his hands a few times and considered getting it for Mandy.

After a few minutes of wondering around curiously, Mickey slid up against the redhead and rested his head on his shoulder. “I’m bored and tired and you haven’t found anything for your sister here. Can we leave already? All this shit is overpriced anyway.” He whined, sighing.

“No! Everyone else is buying her make-up and clothes or just giving her money. I want to get her something she’ll actually use _not_ just another thing that she’ll only use to try and get laid.” Ian explained for what was probably the sixth time today. “—And if you want to make her forgive you, I think she’ll find it a little bit easier if you get her those cookie cutters over there. She only has like, two so far and she said she wanted some more.” Ian added, pointing to a set of assorted metal shapes.

Mickey groaned like a child being told to take a time-out. “I thought we were just putting both our names on whatever crap you picked out for her?”

“Oh, so we’re putting both our names on the Christmas presents now, huh? Wow, we really are in a long-term relationship.” Ian asked, raising an eyebrow and looking away from the set of chocolate moulds he was inspecting to look at the older man derisively. “Next you’ll be barging in to take a shit while I brush my teeth. Oh wait! You did that this morning.”

“Jeez, man, you’re such a little bitch.” Mickey sighed, reluctantly plucking the set of cookie cutters from the shelf and huffing.

Ian laughed and shook his head and carried on looking through the baking things before he eventually settled on a frosting set and a recipe book. On their way to the register, they were passing through the novelty ceramics section they’d been in previously when Ian decided to stop dead and make Mickey walk straight into him.

“Fuck sake Ian, you giant fuckin’ carrot stick, the fuck’s wrong with you?” Mickey grumbled.

Ian ignored him and laughed. “Hey, check these out.” He said quietly, fiddling with a pair of salt and pepper mills shaped like two blob-like, cartoon people with no features except dots for eyes and their fin-like arms outstretched to hug each other. “They’re really cute.” Ian mumbled, picking up the turquoise coloured one and then putting it back where it interlocked with its white ceramic partner. “That one’s you,” he said, pointing to the turquoise pepper, “and that one’s me.” He added, pointing to the white salt mill and slinging an arm around the older boy’s shoulders lazily.

Mickey smiled and picked up the turquoise one to gently knock its mouth against its partner’s with a soft _clink,_ and then gently put it down again. Ian smiled and turned slowly to plant a kiss on the brunet’s mouth, pulling the older boy towards him with the arm that was hooked around his shoulder.

“Woah, wait—“ Mickey said, jerking away and whipping his head around in fear.

“Mick, we’re at the back of a deserted store on the North Side. Nobody’s even here to give a shit.” He said softly, pulling him close again soothingly. With a nod and another cautious glance around, Mickey allowed himself to be kissed softly, closing his eyes and placing a hand on the redhead’s cheek gently, stroking his temple with his thumb. Ian deepened the kiss and pressed himself a little closer, wrapping his other hand around his hip and stroking his hipbone with his thumb. They kissed for nearly a full minute until they pulled apart, resting their foreheads together, completely in their own world. Ian even snuck in an Eskimo kiss, at which Mickey screwed up his face jokingly, pulled away, bitched about the heating in the store being on way too high and promptly slipped the two hugging salt and pepper dudes into his pocket.

Ian smirked and followed his ranting boyfriend to the register where they paid for the shit they couldn’t fit in their pockets.


End file.
